After missing out on Diplo‘s appearance at the Major Lazer show in Amsterdam and the interview with this versatile whiz that night, we got the chance to enrich our knowledge with the gifted artisan through the information superhighway of Twitter last week. Upon greeting us, Philly-based producer Diplo, who goes by the name of Wes Gully, told us that Shrek is Jakob is Hurley is Eddie Murphy in trading places. When referring to the misspelled Major Lazer sign in Amsterdam (“Mayor Lazer”) he says, “We are the mayor and the constituency!”. We curiously asked what would happen to our country with Major Lazer being in charge, Diplo frowned: “Dude, you’re speaking some language I don’t understand. Lick a watermelon, pon di road. Just so you know, I’m going to set fire to RJD2’s plate reverb and Lady Gaga owes me twenty dollars. I bet Drop The Lime is making some bad music as we speak as well, which reminds me of how I was in the studio with Switch sampling a lion roar, a drum roll, a bunch of bubbles – trying to perfect this certain sound. He asked me what the fuck I was doing, he didn’t believe this is how I make a living. Mad horses, jerk dog.”

At that point, we TRUANTS were a tad taken aback and confused as to what was going on. “I’m a bit drunk, I’m still stuck in London immigration.” sighs Diplo, on the last day of his European tour, while munching on some lavish truffle fries. Travel doesn’t always sit well with the musician, and regrettably includes the artist throwing up in the terminals. “Oh my god, there was this Russian flight to London. It was 6am. I was like, God, put me to sleep!” Despite the rocky road of travel, the end of the difficult means always seem to be a cathartic experience. “Last week in Russia I spent 10,000 dollars on my phone bill trying to check in to random places in Russia on foursquare, trying to be the mayor of Minsk. I wasn’t sure whether that was dumb or not. Even though Russia was wierd, I got a lot of mad love in St. Petersburg. I even got recognized on the street! A lot of things still left me confused though. The people were normal but they had gold teeth. There were clubs that had washing machines… And another thing. What’s with Europe and playing the American Beauty soundtrack where Kevin Spacey is dead during breakfast? I just want to eat, not think too deep! Russia did give me a breakfast with six kinds of honey though, so I can’t hate.”

When asked about his current projects the DJ tells us he’s now in a jazz band called Dead Hipster, and ended up in the studio with Drop The Lime earlier this month after he saw boobies everywhere, got his computer fixed and stole some chewing gum. He’s also making beats for Beenieman and Sky Ferreira.”I think Sky is a space alien. It ain’t ogre until it’s ogre!” shouts Diplo accompanied by two powerful inverted commas. Diplo, loved by many, hangs with top dogs along the lines of DJ Tiësto nowadays. “Tiësto told me I was in trouble and in reply to him I told him he was going to eat his headphones. I don’t know, but I’d like to take a ride in his private jet. Can you dance like Ciara? When I first saw the video of Ride I knocked over my dinner tray.”

Diplo irregularly jumps from the topic of Ciara to the new teen sensation Justin Bieber. “Do you like Justin Bieber? I brush my teeth every fifteen minutes nowadays, I just don’t give a fuck anymore. There are bigger things in life, like everytime I walk outside in Jamaica I get five vultures circling above my head. Is it because I’m dying? And like, the issue of waking up with a giant boner in an airplane. It’s not as cool as it sounds. I feel strange when I play Cindy Lauper’s True Colors many times a day, too. These are the bigger problems in life. I wish these issues would go away, when I’m fifty I want to forget all these problems, smoke a lot of weed, talk about the times I wrestled alligators and grab boobs all day on my sailboat. Kush ain’t my cologne right now, though when I have a remix deadline I smoke some weed and wander off. I start talking to girls and wake up next to a girl that looks like Steve Aoki.”

Don’t worry, we here at TRUANTS also asked the suave man himself for some advice on how he picks up his gyals. “Well, a variety of things works. I try to make sex a trending topic in real life. Last week I took a shot of my homeboy’s contact lens cleaner listening to Russian gangster rap, trying not to throw up on this girl I think. But maybe I should disconnect my advice to the kids, I can sound like a gross raging alcoholic sometimes. Please don’t take me seriously. :/ Plus, I gotta stop sleeping with girls that were born in the nineties. I’ll make exceptions for some girls on Twitter though..”

Well, it sounds like ol’ Wes is a regular charmer, then! “Nah, my charm doesn’t always work. All the super hot Indian girls in Heathrow are mean to me, you know, the ones who live in tee-pees. But I love it, Heathrow girls for life! Maybe I should tell them I’m a famous DJ and then they’ll kiss me. Love is what love is. For example, this Timbaland featuring Katy Perry video isn’t real love at all. They got chemistry like two rocks at the bottom of a mudpit, plus Katy Perry can’t sing but she has massive boobs. My management told me to stop dissing other artists but fuck them, they all suck up to me because I’d rather make metal. I love Mexican death metal girls.”

A former teacher, the well-read and educated Wesley also shares some of his thoughts on latest global issues. “I’m sure there’s problems all over Chinese factories for everything they make. But that doesn’t cause people to stab babies… China has problems.” A concern that really has him raging is the recent oil spill caused by the multinational British Petroleum. “Let me quote my dear friend Josh Brodey on this one. Tony Hayward is definitely not American. British people can’t make shit up just because America sucks, it doesn’t work like that. I agree with him on that. Really, British Petroleum is the worst piece of shit company in the world and I hope it goes belly up and its CEOs die of cancer. Fuck them. They ruined my town.” Harsh words for an equally harsh and real environmental issue, Diplo, we understand your feelings on this one.

Recently, the artist has been exploring a wide range of his talents, more specifically concentrating on his writing skills. “I’m writing a childrens movie about some punky kids from the midlands in the United Kingdom called Hilly Hilbits. Hilly, she’s also a detective and closet raver. When I was in Jamaica recently, I also wrote a moviescript called Ghostyboy. It’s a comedy about a tween ghost that is learning the ropes of ghostyness but also moonlights as a pop singer. For some paranormal reason, you can see him on television. He is a sad individual because he wants to grow up and stuff but is going to be a tween forever. He’s good and there are mad tween vampires that are bad and Ghostyboy has to fight an epic brainwash battle for all the kids’ brains. I’m trying to get Disney to do a soundtrack but am undecided about who should play him. I asked Justin Bieber, my idol, but he’s too busy. Aziz Ansari? Tracey Morgan? It’s so hard. No one should steal my film idea or I will fucking murder them and their family. “

What has us mesmerized about this modest man is his mad steez. His suits seem to make several branches of art industries go round. The biggest names from Harvard Bass to Ford Models seem to seek his advice when it concerns the suits, so we couldn’t help but ask him what his fave rockable threads are these days. “Prada has the sickest suits this season .. Paul Smith in Los Angeles has this fresh light grey sporty one too. Some people should stop dissing my suits, I mean I got mad suits. I got interns reading the boards where they gossip about me and Switch, and I see people on there disrespecting my steez. It hurts my feelings and I’ll cut them. You feel me?”

Diplo’s major project Major Lazer has been having quite a successful ride this year. The phenomenon that has everyone talking is Major Lazer’s provocative live shows, where companion Skerrit Boy ‘daggers’, i.e. exudes pent up energy in the form of pelvic thrusts on any women or objects in his vicinity. When asked about the controversial issue of daggering and the criticism fired towards Major Lazer’s live shows, the deejay remained ominous and reminded us that every dagger has two sharp sides to it. “Do you have any idea what girls say to me on Twitter? I mean, I also feel objectified and abused by your question right now… Do you sympathize with me?”

[wpaudio url=”http://dl.dropbox.com/u/3640368/10%20Summer%27s%20Gonna%20Hurt.mp3″ text=”DIPLO – SUMMER’S GONNA HURT” dl=0]

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